Saturday, March 02, 2013

Getting Naked: Revealing Yourself on a First Friend Date

It all started when I overheard the name Brené Brown. About to order drinks for me and my friend at the bar, I turned, as if on cue, and without thinking (the benefit of my first glass of wine still in my blood), interrupted an attractive woman speaking to an attractive man.  Only later (sober) did I think I may have interfered with a potential meet-cute.  Buzzed, and elated to hear a potential kindred spirit speaking of Brown's TedTalk, it didn't matter.  I love Brené Brown, I gushed, and the conversation proceeded to other ear-candy, including Krista Tippet's podcasts on "On Being."  We (the ladies) exchanged numbers, and promised to meet for a coffee.

I think I just made a new friend! At a bar! Discussing spiritual and meaningful talks, I told my good friend, finally delivering the promised drink.  "Welcome to Silver Lake," my longtime Silver Lake resident/friend told me. 

Three weeks later, my new friend and I met for coffee at Casbah Cafe.  Sitting down, we started on small talk, like what we do for work, the benefits of cococut oil, and returning to church after years disappointment and frustration. About faith to remove life's wrinkles from one's skin and life's scars from one's soul.

We talked so long we had to worry about the parking meter and our empty stomachs, and decided to jump in her car to find food and our next adventure. After eating delicious salads at Food+Lab, we headed downtown where she introduced me to a new obsession, Shareen Vintage.  As we pieced through the racks of dresses, I explained my body type and issues, the right fit I was looking for.  As the 20-something clerk heaped our choices of colorful printed fabrics on a couch, I saw my new friend in a breath-taking gown.  Where do I change, I asked.  Here! she said.  No boys allowed.  As I ran from a three way mirror exclaiming my body-issues in a hip-hugging dress, she joked about getting to know each other quickly.  "Let's get naked!"

And that's part of the beauty of a new friendship that starts on shared experiences and ideas about life and faith — it takes risk, to reveal your lumps and scars in a safe place, yet still sucking in your stomach, waiting to build the trust that allows that deeper sharing with a true soul-friend. 

Cheers to eavesdropping, interrupting, talking to strangers, and stumbling upon a kindred spirit.

(Photos: Food+Lab from, Shareen Vintage from, Brené Brown from Blog.SpeakersOffice, Casbah Cafe from

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