Wednesday, December 09, 2009

SWF seeking DLM (Dog-like male)

I rarely blog about my dating life; the subject is exhausted over drinks and dinners and walks with friends.  Take tonight, for instance.  My lovely friend J and I went to see George Clooney be his charming gorgeous self (what deal did THAT man make with the devil?) in "Up in the Air."  Great movie.  Before the film we celebrated my birthday week over tamales and drinks, next to a table where two men set up a travel chess game and proceeded to play during their dinner.  How great would it be if we pulled out a noisy travel game, like Connect 4, where all the pieces clatter to the table and ground, or that game with a timer where everything pops up at the end? 

But I digress.  Catching up, we shared the latest in our quasi-existent love lives.  As I described yet another experience with a man where it just seemed that everything is overthought and overwrought, J summed up my man-traction.  "You attract men who want to talk to you for hours, and it gets to be too much.  What you need is a simple man.  A man who taps his foot when he's anxious.  So pretty soon you just figure out his signs, and you're good to go."

"And wags his butt when he's happy?" I asked.  J nodded.  "Ooooh, I get it.  And when he pees on the floor he's either marking his terrority or angry that I left him alone for three days."

So basically, I'm now seeking a dog-like man, if anyone knows a good one, who likes to play catch and cuddle. Preferably full grown, house-trained and fixed.  That or George Clooney, whomever shows up on my doorstep first.



1 comment:

J-Socks said...

Don't confuse my idea with the theory that all males are dogs. That would just get confusing.