Hitchhikers beware, let this Hummer pass by. Whether you fear the carbon emissions, the laughably low gas mileage, or the petite blonde barely able to see over the steering wheel of her H2, designed for war, hummers are scary.
Yesterday I saw one such monstrosity parked in
- Private autopsies
- Forensic Autopsies
- Toxicology & Serology
- Medical Photography
- DNA (Paternity) Analysis
And, of course, since we are in
When I looked up the company on the web, I found that their mission statement is: “Mortuis Paresdium Et Vocem Dare Necessee Est - The Deceased Must be Protected and Given a Voice.” A good sentiment, but does the tank they drive advance that dark day?
Lest you worry that I am heartlessly mocking a group of well-intentioned folk who do what many of us dare not, please check out their gift catalog. It offers a SKULL CAP with 1-800-AUTOPSY emblazoned on the front and back, as well as a traditional scrub shirt with the company logo right above the heart. Do I need to mention the coffin case or the brain gelatin mold? The “glow skull magnet” suggests their sense of humor as they advise you “use this for your grave memos… this 2” plastic skull is realistically detailed and glows.”
Though you might miss all this info when the hummer blows by you at 75 mph, it would be hard to miss the piece de resistance: a toe tag on the passenger’s side door, inscribed “El Muerto.”