Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Stories on the Bus: Robert the Dancing Man

He carefully opened the pages of his pocket calendar to the following week, and twisted the base of the pen slowly, writing the bus and walking directions I read from my phone, to help him navigate his way to the nearest Goodwill. I sat next to him on the bus bench to show him the map, and he balanced a plastic bag on his lap, the outline of what looked like a record showing, explaining that he would go to the Goodwill another day, there was no time today.


We both waved the local bus by, agreeing it was better to wait for the rapid. Less stops, he said. Telling him my name, he introduced himself as Robert. He was dressed with care, bow tie, slacks, his hat tipped just so. He was in his 70s, perhaps, it was hard to tell. We boarded the bus together, and he sat across the aisle from me. As the bus rumbled into motion, he asked me where I lived in the city. Robert lived downtown, and loved it there, how it has changed, how diverse it is. And he dances, he said. He’s always dancing, but especially in the summer, he dances at shows, live music in the parks, wherever.

Our conversation paused as everyone was interrupted by a loud, angry voice, our attention drawn to the front of the bus where a man in his late 50s began spouting racist, hateful vitriol about someone who had just boarded. I went silent, unsure how to confront an older, bigger man, but the bus driver quickly took care of the situation. He pulled the bus over, told him that it was unacceptable to say such things, and he would need to leave if he were to continue to speak that way. Incensed, the man spat racist, hateful words at the driver, and stepped off the bus.

Robert and I exchanged looks – disgraceful, Robert said. Robert the dancing man asked me to come to one of his performances, and gave me his phone number to call during the summer, when he would be dancing outdoors more often. I thanked the bus driver as I left, telling him I had been fearful, and hadn’t known what to do, and was grateful for him stepping in, and up. The dancing man nodded to me as I stepped off the bus and watched it lumber away, carrying so many stories, stopping to drop each person into their chapter as we all danced around each other, sometimes with anger, other times with curiosity, and often with grace.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Rainy Season in California and Congo: The Ordinary as Extraordinary

“In creative work – creative work of all kinds – those who are the world’s working artists are not trying to help the world go around, but forward. Which is something altogether different from the ordinary. Such work does not refute the ordinary. It is, simply, something else. … Nor can the actual work be well separated from the entire life. Like the knights of the Middle Ages, there is little the creatively inclined person can do but to prepare himself, body and spirit, for the labor to come – for his adventures are all unknown. In truth, the work itself is the adventure. And no artist could go about this work, or would want to, with less than extraordinary energy and concentration. The extraordinary is what art is about.” ~ Mary Oliver, Upstream

We woke to rain in L.A. today, and from my desk I hear the consistent pattering of it, and passing cars’ tires parting the standing water on the street, the sound almost louder than their engines, passing through, in, on top of, parting water to make way. At this moment this is my connection to the nature of my city, the courtyard beyond our front door filled with succulents and flowers – a lone iris in full bloom closed in on itself in the cold and wet in the midst of a tangle of rosemary that the gardener cuts back to keep clear the path for us, our neighbors, and the feral cats that stroll through as if they own the place (which they clearly do), sunning themselves with one wary eye open for the footfall that announces the mailman, the UPS delivery. It is 6:28 a.m. on the 11th of January and dark, cars spray water from their tires, and the cats must be in hiding in some dry, underground crawl space somewhere. They have survived the coyotes who brazenly wander the neighborhoods in the mid-afternoon sun and now, they will survive the rain.



This is the ordinary, and extraordinary. Mary Oliver has been my teacher in paying attention, to the small moments in life, how extraordinary is the movement of an insect or the soaring of a hawk if one simply pays attention.

The rainy season in Los Angeles reminds me of the rainy season in Congo. It was this time five years ago that I first stepped foot on the muddy roads of rainy Mumosho with Cate Haight, my friend and Action Kivu co-founder. So much has changed, in my life and in the life of Action Kivu. I am now able to work part-time for this organization, communicating with our partners in Congo, taking the photos and stories they send and sharing them with you, thinking up fundraisers and event planning and working on budget details and grant applications and learning the tricks of QuickBooks and a bit of French and why goats are so important in Shi culture.

This is my art, my commitment to the unknown, stepping into the fear that I am not enough, that I don’t know how to properly convey all that is bursting inside the stories of the women and girls in our Action Kivu family, that I won’t raise enough money, that I’m not doing enough, there is so much to be done. I must find my art in the ordinary made extraordinary by my attention, in the QuickBooks entries that I usually find the menial part of my work. Entering donations, I wish I could see each entry as the gift it is, how someone chooses to send $10 or $100 each month, a portion of income earned from their work, whether it is a teacher who stays up late reading the spelling words of a ten year old or the arguments of a college student, a dentist who peers into the cavities of someone who squirms under the bright light and knowledge that they didn’t floss as much as they had promised, a sewing instructor who doesn’t make quite enough to buy all the material she wants, an artist working in paint or on a desktop, a filmmaker putting ideas into pictures, each not sure what tomorrow will bring, but choosing to share part of their life by giving to a group of women and girls in Congo. They send money to pay for a sewing instructor to go to work each day in Mumosho, for a literacy teacher to prepare her lesson, a baker to prep ingredients for her bread-making class. In cities and towns around the U.S. and the world, artists and teachers and makers and doctors and students and poets send a portion of their earnings to Congo, to bolster up a community of women and kids they’ll probably never meet, knowing that their money is helping weave together a strong, supple fabric that holds up and wraps around us, that is the society we all live in, no matter how many miles separate us.

It’s rainy season in Los Angeles, and the cars cut swaths over wet roads, swishing as their drivers navigate traffic and potholes and stoplights on their way to work: to teach, to clean, to operate machines or on people, to serve food or coffee, to type reports, to make calls. It’s rainy season in Mumosho, and cars slide sideways on muddy roads, transporting workers to the bigger city of Bukavu, women walk carefully, picking their way through the mud to the Peace Market where the roof will keep them dry as they sell bananas, fish, and loaves of bread made at the Women’s Center.  We shake off umbrellas, drops of water making entryways and the floors of buses slick, they shake off rain drops from dresses and brush off jeans that will dry while they spend their day inside the center, learning to sew, to weave baskets, to bake bread and to read and write, an alphabet denied to them as little girls who were not sent to school.

We celebrate the rain in this California drought, but as we head home at the end of the day, are happy to see the sun breaking through the clouds, low in the sky as it sets over the hills, the Pacific. The women and girls in Mumosho walk back outside into the late afternoon, the sun out and low in the sky over the surrounding mountains, making a muggy, warm evening. They make their way home, stepping through the wet grass along the muddy road, minds churning with a new trick of a stitch learned, arms filled with finished woven baskets to sell at the market, and the magic of an alphabet coming to life to tell their stories.

This life is extraordinary. Make art out of every bit of material it gives you.



Photo credit: Hélène Estèves

Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Wintering the Revolution: Grounding Into the Lessons of the Earth and the Magic Beneath Our Feet

Mired in inaction and uncertainty and quite frankly, despair, the writing process led me to ground down into the lessons of the earth.


It’s day three of the New Year, and I look at the sticky note John Oliver instructed me to place at my desk: This is not normal. Normally I set intentions in a new year, I reflect on what I was grateful to have learned from the previous year, and what I’d like to try differently. This new year is not normal. Time feels tangible, as if I’m moving through each day in thick liquid. My movements lack direction, and grace. I feel suspended in inaction – uncertain what to do in this new reality. I nodded in connection with writer Lisa Boldin while reading her recent piece on Spirituality & Health entitled Practices to Support Your Inward Journey: “If I am not careful I will slip into a place of fear with no known recourse. I am a “do-er”, an action oriented person who has been socially engaged to create positive change in our community. At this moment in time I am unsure of what action to take or how to make my voice heard.”

Boldin’s choice is to be quiet, to put into practice the teaching of Ayurveda that you treat a complex presentation with a simple remedy. That when faced with the unknown, you wait for inspiration. She writes of the winter practices of waking early for meditation or writing, taking the time to sip a cup of hot tea or water, bundling up for walks in the colder weather, and befriending your body through stretching and yoga.

In my mind I know that to ground oneself in love and a quiet mind is always a good practice, to be able to act from a place of calm, especially when faced with chaos and tumult. I want to be the quiet, steady center in the midst of the spinning spokes of the wheel. But somehow that feels like privilege – that we don’t have time for reflection. Various social media sources are telling me we’re not doing enough to stop a tyrant. I don’t know what to do. I have never felt so helpless.

And I know we – I – have not been doing enough, for decades now. That police forces have been gearing up with military grade equipment and killing black people and arresting brown people in record numbers, and we haven’t been doing enough to stop that. That the rich are getting richer, and the disenfranchised are losing even greater ground, and Skid Row has taken on new neighborhoods in Los Angeles. People do not make enough money to rent a room, and we turn away in disgust or shame from those without a home who use sidewalks as toilets. But where are they to go?

Fun fact: The word defecate not only means “to discharge feces from the bowels,” but also "to free from impurity or corruption."

It’s time to defecate all over the U.S. governing bodies and our cities – to free our systems from impurity and corruption.

I still don’t know how to do that. But I do know that this feeling of impotence is exactly what keeps people quiet, trapped. We look for someone else to show us the way. And while I want to learn from those who have gone before me, from the leaders and do-ers of the various civil rights movements, I don’t want to wait for them to tell me what to do. I want to embrace what Alice Walker writes: “It was the poet June Jordan who wrote ‘We are the ones we have been waiting for.’ Sweet Honey in the Rock turned those words into a song. Hearing this song, I have witnessed thousands of people rise to their feet in joyful recognition and affirmation. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for because we are able to see what is happening with a much greater awareness than our parents or grandparents, our ancestors, could see. This does not mean we believe, having seen the greater truth of how all oppression is connected, how pervasive and unrelenting, that we can ‘fix’ things. But some of us are not content to have a gap in opportunity and income that drives a wedge between rich and poor, causing the rich to become ever more callous and complacent and the poor to become ever more wretched and humiliated. Not willing to ignore starving and brutalized children. Not willing to let women be stoned or mutilated without protest. Not willing to stand quietly by as farmers are destroyed by people who have never farmed, and plants are engineered to self-destruct. Not willing to disappear into our flower gardens, Mercedes Benzes or sylvan lawns. We have wanted all our lives to know that Earth, who has somehow obtained human beings as her custodians, was also capable of creating humans who could minister to her needs, and the needs of her creation. We are the ones.

Will being quiet this winter, rising early to write and process my thoughts, show me actions to take? I know to join people’s protests, to sign letters from Amnesty International, to contact my representatives or world leaders to let them know they are not acting in a vacuum, that we are watching, and we have had enough. But when it comes to our own leader, I’m looking for quick fixes – to do something to ensure DT and his band of white supremacists don’t get a chance to think that they are the majority, that their might makes right. But these ideas, these people, did not rise up in one night, or even over the course of that year-long election. These are ideas and practices that have been festering and rising and falling for centuries.

Many of us who think racism and violence are abhorrent were often able to look away, to be distracted by our own safe surroundings. In general, white privilege. But now that violence, divisiveness, racism, sexism and misogyny have been given not only a national and global platform, but a face, we cannot look away. It’s in our news feeds. It’s on the television. It’s on the street corner. And it’s always been there, so the action to eradicate it will not be speedy, or possibly ever fully realized. But it is the process of doing so, and being so, that is the revolution.

The revolution will occur in our everyday actions, how we choose to respond to violence, to hate. How we choose to talk to our coworkers, our neighbors, the barista making our cup of coffee. Whether we choose to ask someone what they think, and listen deeply, letting their thoughts, their experiences, their thoughts be heard. Speaking to a stranger on the street, asking their name, what they think of what is happening in their neighborhood, in their city. Gloria Steinem, speaking in conversation with Jill Soloway just before the new year, encouraged us to gather together, to be with each other in discussions, over meals. In her book My Life on the Road, she writes about listening, that one of the simplest paths to deep change is for the less powerful to speak as much as they listen, and for the more powerful to listen as much as they speak.

Winter naturally slows us down. The days are shorter, darker, encouraging us to stay inside near the heater or a fire, to light candles that provide flickering light. The days are colder, causing us to take more time to bundle in warm clothes, to peel off scarves and coats and hats upon entering someone’s home or restaurant or pub. It is, by its nature, a time for reflection, wooly thinking, staring into a candle’s flame. But this winter, the world feels like it is spinning out of control.

Returning to the Ayurvedic theory Boldin references – what is the simple response to a complex presentation? When it appears that the world is cold, seemingly without life, that we are a frozen people, uncertain what to do, where to take action, when to be still and listen, we remember that in winter, forces we cannot see are active beneath the surface. Under the layer of frost and ground that looks hard, cold, and dead, roots and animals burrow, their perfectly evolved systems processing stored food, roots releasing water to endure colder temperatures, the sugar and salts in their cells acting as antifreeze.Mulch, whether from the falling leaves of autumn or a compost provided by human caretakers, provides a nutrient-rich blanket of insulation.

Gary Watson, head of research at The Morton Arboretum in Lisle reminds us of the power of the earth to sustain life: "There's always warmth in the earth. The soil may be freezing from the surface, but it's always thawing from below."

The day after the election, my partner and I went downtown, to a favorite bookstore and market, to read the ideas of others, to be surrounded by strangers. In response to a shopkeeper’s usual question: How are you, I gave the rote response, I’m well, before realizing, I am not well. And voicing that, she replied the same. We talked for 20 minutes about the shock of learning so many people had not exercised their right to vote, or had voted for a hateful, bigoted, misogynist. We were shaky. We talked about how to come together, to host dinners and meet over meals to move forward, to create change. My partner and I walked down the streets of Los Angeles, passing several people crying openly. I wanted to stop and hug a young 20 something. I offered my card to the stranger in the shop, should she need another guest at her party in planning the revolution.

Taking the time to connect with others, wherever I am, these are my first steps in the long-game of resistance and revolution this winter. To pay attention. To ask people to speak their stories, their truth, and amplify them. To give a coat to someone who is cold. To listen to the mother who tells me her young daughter’s cancer has returned, and remember that most people you meet are the walking wounded, and to forgive them when they snap. To forgive myself when I do not act in love, when I snap in anger at a loved one, when I travel through a day in a fog of my self-concern and do not stand up for someone, and once again set the intention to pay attention. To walk slowly, carefully, over the frozen ground, thoughtfully choosing to act in love, in embrace of the other. To remember that after winter, the ground thaws, and we when we sweep away the rotting leaves we reveal small green shoots of life. To remember the magic that is beneath our feet, thawing from below.

Friday, May 20, 2016

Download PDF to post your solidarity with Congo: #JeSuisBeni

Today in Congo, 7100 people gathered in Bukavu today to say "Enough is enough!" They raised their voices to show unity in nonviolent resistance, to take action, to show up, to cry for justice and peace in Congo.  Please download the PDF (below) and post, or print and take a selfie with it, telling why you #‎StandwithCongo‬, the civil society leaders, and the Congolese people calling for peace and ‪#‎Justice4Beni‬.  Use the hashtag #JeSuisBeni.

To learn more about the massacres that have killed more than 500 civilians since October 2014 in Beni, DRC, including the targeting of children, read Congo Research Group's report here: http://ow.ly/i6u0300pYX7

To quote Dr. Omekongo Dibinga: "Our destiny is inextricably linked."





I am honored to work alongside Congolese community builder and civil society leader Amani Matabaro, an organizer of the rally.

Amani paused to thank the young man holding a collection of photos of just some of those hundreds of civilians killed in Beni. The man sat on top of a car, sharing the story of Beni, showing the images to people in Bukavu, Congo who have no internet, no way of knowing the horrors that continue to be committed in Beni.

"You must be tired now. We need someone else to help you hold the banner," Amani told him.

"How can I imagine to be or feel tired," the young man replied. "I am 23 years old and have only seen violence, this cycle of violence must stop. I believe in showing these photos we will all revolt and say NO, NO!"




Monday, May 16, 2016

The Longer the Candle Burns: How to Take Action, Demand Compassion, and Create Homes for the Homeless

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The wind died down, and quickly we formed small circles to light one another's candles, crowding Hollywood & Highland, our poster-board signs demanding action and compassion on behalf of the homeless held between our knees as we used both hands to cup the fragile flames. As the wicks caught fire and burned down, the wax dripped onto our fingers and splashed the Hollywood Stars beneath our feet. The longer the candles burned, the better they stayed lit, and we held the lights above our heads. They required attention and care; when the flame started to flicker, my boyfriend and I lowered our candles, protecting them with cupped hands against the wind, until each one grew strong again and could be raised on its own.  The homeless man next to me guarded his candle behind his poster-board sign, completely transfixed by the flame that lit his face with a golden glow.  

Photo by Cynthia Vance, view here on her Facebook page.

It was a bizarre picture for the foreign tourists visiting Hollywood & Highland. Their Instagram feeds had just been full of celebrity names on sidewalk stars, selfies with wax tributes to movie icons and Disney princesses and men painted gold and Michael Jackson and Marvel hero impersonators. Suddenly their SnapChats showed hundreds of nobody famous: nearly 1500 people holding signs about the homeless crisis, chanting about housing and equal rights. Organized by the Monday Night Mission in a city known for its sprawl of space and the isolation of the car culture, we crowded in, standing shoulder to shoulder with strangers, greeting like-minded people as newfound friends.

“Hey Garcetti: Keep your word! Help our homeless off the streets!” we had chanted at tourists that stepped aside to give way to our wave of protesters marching down Hollywood Boulevard.

At first I wasn’t sure why the Mission organized the march in the heart of Hollywood, and then I got it: Every tourist had a camera and wanted to capture the loud locals demanding love and respect and housing for their fellow Angelenos. Our city’s growing cost of housing and resultant exponential number of homeless is one of L.A.’s most shameful attractions. A countywide survey conducted in January found that homelessness in Council District 13, which includes most of Echo Park, rose 34% from last year, The Eastsider reports. That’s 3,036 persons living on the streets in just a small section of L.A., a few minutes walk from some of the most affluent areas of Silver Lake where we rent.

Photo by Cynthia Vance, view here on her Facebook page.
Every month as I walk, car-free in L.A., I see more and more tents and encampments each month, people taking shelter under freeway overpasses and bridges. According to the L.A. Times, “Los Angeles County has the most homeless people without shelter in the nation, studies have found, and over the years local officials have made tackling the problem a top priority. One tally released earlier this month found that nearly 47,000 people were living on the streets and in shelters countywide, with about two-thirds of those living in the city.”


My neighbors break out in online arguments of how to help, or, on the uglier side, how to rid the city of these people some view as trash. The underlying capitalistic “get a job / pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality infects many of the negative comments in the forum: about being fearful to walk through certain streets, unable to invite friends to your house as they don’t want to be faced with this homeless person, this problem.

Tell me: how should a person get a job without an address to list on the job application?  Factor in the exhaustion of terrible sleep on the streets, a life of uncertainty: will tonight be the night that the city will clear out your encampment, destroy your shelter, toss away any of the few things you hold dear, including your medicine that may be the one thing helping to treat a mental illness or a heart condition that has prevented you from keeping said job?

How are you to vote for the best interest of the marginalized if you don’t have an address to show for your voting rights? Not only have people been stripped of their dignity, forced to find a private place to go to the bathroom, unable to bathe on a regular basis, they’ve been silenced, from choosing their representatives and leaders, from telling their stories. I have no idea why most people are living on the streets. I don’t know if it was the fact that, like most of us, they were one paycheck away from being homeless, and downsizing at a company or an illness or the raising of one’s rent forced them out of their apartment. I don’t know if they were raised by abusive parents who never taught them the coping tools of nonviolent communication, and they landed in jail, losing the life they’d created. I don’t know if they live with unchecked mental illness that needs treatment. 


I do know that, as the organizer of the march and rally reminded us, they were once someone’s son. Someone’s daughter. Perhaps someone’s sister or brother, or mother. That society often calls them trash, and looks the other way, but that they are our neighbors. And that, stripped of their voice, their rights to vote, to speak to the resolutions of this systemic crisis, we must help them regain that voice. We must stand up, and show up. We must demand Mayor Garcetti follow up on his promise of declaring a state of emergency, and then pressure Governor Brown to redefine what that means to include this shameful treatment of humans.  (Read more at the L.A. Times here.) We must continue to show up, to use our voices and our votes to find solutions to the growing housing crisis, to demand affordable housing.

We had shown up, but that was not enough. Callor email your council member, the organizer instructed us. If nothing changes, vote them out, and vote in someone who will enact their campaign promises.  If nothing changes, we will march in Sacramento.  We cheered, emboldened by numbers and the feeling of taking action. The final exhortation: “remember to recycle your signs!” felt hilariously anticlimactic, but every action counts in creating the L.A. we want to inhabit.

We blew out our candles and rolled up our poster-boards. The sun was setting, and the wind was getting colder. I wrapped a scarf around my neck as my boyfriend and I walked away from the rally, looking for a place to get a bite to eat, to get off the sidewalk. Later that night, after the tourists had returned to their hotels, and we were home and safe, tents would be pitched all over Los Angeles.  

Lighting the flame of activism, showing up for change, for a better life for everyone takes each of us lighting each other’s candles, handing out water and signs and marching, walking in the same direction.  It’s a complex problem, and keeping those candles glowing requires constant attention, knowing when to shield them from the wind, when to raise them high to light the way, guarding the flame from being blown out.

“It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” ~ The Christophers

Photo by Cynthia Vance: Facebook


(More photos from Cynthia Vance can be viewed on her Facebook page here.)
 

Monday, January 04, 2016

I'm Kevin.

Running down to the corner market for black pepper & rosemary for a winter stew the boyfriend is creating in our little, warm kitchen, I saw a man perched on the concrete divide, separating the four-lane flow of traffic from the walkway outside the store, lighting a cigarette. I hurried past, hoping he wouldn't talk to me.

On my way out, he asked me for money to help out the homeless. I gave him the dollar I had in cash, explaining that I had used a card inside. "Can you buy a homeless guy a bag of chips on that card?" he asked. "Doritos," he replied to my asking what he would like. Everyone knows that one can't eat Doritos without a drink, so at his request, I bought him a coke, too.

When I gave him his snack, he looked me in the eye and said, "Thanks." Then as I walked away I turned as he said, "I'm Kevin."

I'm Rebecca.  Nice to meet you.

The humanity of that moment continues to resonate. That the man perched on the edge wanted to be more than a homeless dude on the corner, that he has a name.

I turned back and said, "I'm Rebecca. It's nice to meet you." And getting back in the car, realizing that I wish I could have stopped to hear Kevin's story, but as a woman, standing in a dark parking lot, it wasn't safe for me.

And realizing that L.A. has had a lot of cold nights so far, with El Nino rain to come tomorrow. So. One thing at a time, to take steps to deal with the overwhelming feelings of this world being too much.

If you can, give to Recycled Resources to support the work of the Northeast Los Angeles Winter Access Center opened up this month in the All Saints Episcopal Church as the only homeless shelter in Northeast LA.

"The overnight shelter has been using church pews as beds for up to 50 people. But in a sad twist, the Los Angeles Homeless Services Authority has deemed those pews a potential safety hazard, which has disqualified the shelter from receiving emergency funding from the city. According to Eastsider LA, the Northeast Los Angeles Winter Access Center is losing out on about $75,000 in city funding due to the decision.

"Officials with the Los Angeles Homeless Services Authority declared that the church pews being used as makeshift beds were too narrow, and could pose a safety risk. A spokesman for First District Councilmember Gil Cedillo said the LAHSA was concerned about people "potentially rolling over, falling, and hurting themselves."

"When the city announced last week it would be setting aside $12.4 million in emergency funding for winter shelters, officials at Recycled Resources, the group operating the NELA shelter, hoped to receive $75,000 to maintain their operation through the long El Niño winter. Unfortunately the pew issue meant the shelter was not up to LAHSA standards, and now they will receive nothing. They had counted on that money to pay for food, bedding, and most importantly heat during the cold winter months. They will continue with or without the funding as long as they can. The shelter currently has a capacity to house 50 people for the night, but its resources will be stretched thinner as the 380 homeless in Highland Park and 800 total homeless in Northeast LA look for a warm place to sleep when the persistent rains begin."

Help Recycled Resources meet their goal.  Donate here.

Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Walking in L.A.: Bowing Often, Bells, & Budweiser

It's already after 8 a.m., and, out of cream for our coffee, I lace up my old running shoes, the ones with the worn-through insoles, to make the quick walk through the neighborhood and down the steep hill to the corner market.

I take the corner at my make-the-most-of-every-step pace, and the colors of a small milk container on its side, on the ground, catches my eye. (Did I consider for a second that perhaps someone had dropped an un-opened container of half-and-half and I wouldn't have to hike back up the steep hill?  Of course not.)

By this hour, the city has already been through our streets, emptying the yard and recycling bins that had been parked along the curbs the night before.  The trucks arrive with the birds, beeping as they back their way down our one way street, a bright sign on the truck's side telling us to keep Los Angeles beautiful.  But before the machines arrive to clumsily toss and shake what is leftover from our weeks, our daily routines of unwrapping meats, opening cartons, pouring cream into our coffee mugs, before it is quite light enough to see the movements of morning, scavengers have come. Hard workers load pickup truck beds or grocery carts that have that one wobbly wheel.  They comb through what we recycled. They cart it away, to change into funds for food, for more gas for that truck, for school supplies.

Mary Oliver tells me never to hurry through the world, but to walk slowly, and bow often. I stop and bow, one foot in the gutter, to pick up the empty milk carton, and toss it back into the bright blue bin.
A few more steps up the sidewalk, I meet Olive the dog.  She doesn't want to sit still for a photo, and talks to anyone who will stop to listen to pet her sleek black coat, her voice a high whimper of joy. I bow to pet her, and tell her human to have a good day.

My steps are slower now, and I bow once again, taking a photo of the brown leaves that fell around pink flowers, signs of the mash-up of seasons in L.A.  The bells of St. Francis chime, reminding me that I'm taking longer than I planned, on my walk for cream for our coffee.




At the corner, I wait for the light with tourists wearing shorts and backpacks, who consult the maps on their phones and each other before crossing over to the cafe that smells of pancakes and eggs.

Swiping my card for the carton of cream, I hike back up the hill.  My eyes catch a Budweiser can peeking out from a bush.  I think of Mary, and bow to pick it up, gingerly holding the sticky dirty aluminum between two fingers to toss into the recycling bin.  There is evidence of a dog's morning walk left in a pile. I do not bow.

Retracing my steps, where I'd met Olive the dog, I say good morning to the white haired contractor starting his day, pulling supplies from the back of the Ford F150 that is too bulky for our old, slender street where cars take turns to pass by.  I bow to take off my shoes at the door, set the cream on the counter. The boyfriend, deep in the world of his work, never noticed how long I was gone.
When I Am Among the Trees

When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.

I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
   but walk slowly, and bow often.

Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, "Stay awhile."
The light flows from their branches.

And they call again, "It's simple," they say,
"and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine."

~Mary Oliver